Archive for April 29th, 2011

Examine your Expectations

Posted on April 29, 2011. Filed under: anger, choice, control, disappointment, fairness, Health, hostility | Tags: , , , , , |

Unfulfilled expectations can lead to anger. What are your expectations of yourself and others for this situation? Are you expecting more than is realistic for this person in this particular situation?

Examine your underlying expectations about what you need to be happy and live the type of life you want. Examine your expectations from others. Perhaps you have higher (or different) standards than others. Perhaps you expect others to follow them as well as yourself. You may even be right. But these are your expectations of others–not theirs. They are who they are, and one root of anger is not accepting people (or events) as they are.

“Entitlement thinking” and high expectations about what we should receive cause a feeling of being “in a hole.” They cause some people to see themselves as victims and view the world negatively. These expectations are the cause of a deep sense of powerlessness and prolonged resentment about being treated “unfairly.” They are the deepest source of many people’s anger.

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    The problem is not that we GET angry. The problem is HOW we express our anger.

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