Archive for January 11th, 2012
Measuring Boredom
Boredom Proneness Scale
The statements can be answered using a true-false response (the original format used) or with a 7-point format from “1″ (highly disagree) to “7″ (highly agree) used in recent research.
_____ 1. It is easy for me to concentrate on my activities.
_____ 2. Frequently when I am working I find myself worrying about other things.
_____ 3. Time always seems to be passing slowly.
_____ 4. I often find myself at “loose ends”, not knowing what to do.
_____ 5. I am often trapped in situations where I have to do meaningless things.
_____ 6. Having to look at someone’s home movies or travel slides bores me tremendously.
_____ 7. I have projects in mind all the time, things to do.
_____ 8. I find it easy to entertain myself.
_____ 9. Many things I have to do are repetitive and monotonous.
_____ 10. It takes more stimulation to get me going than most people.
_____ 11. I get a kick out of most things I do.
_____ 12. I am seldom excited about my work.
_____ 13. In any situation I can usually find something to door see to keep me interested.
_____ 14. Much of the time I just sit around doing nothing.
_____ 15. I am good at waiting patiently.
_____ 16. I often find myself with nothing to do, time on my hands.
_____ 17. In situations where I have to wait, such as a line I get very restless.
_____ 18. I often wake up with a new idea.
_____ 19. It would be very hard for me to find a job that is exciting enough.
_____ 20. I would like more challenging things to do in life.
_____ 21. I feel that I am working below my abilities most of the time.
_____ 22. Many people would say that I am a creative or imaginative person.
_____ 23. I have so many interests, I don’t have time to do everything.
_____ 24. Among my friends, I am the one who keeps doing something the longest.
_____ 25. Unless I am doing something exciting, even dangerous, I feel half-dead and dull.
_____ 26. It takes a lot of change and variety to keep me really happy.
_____ 27. It seems that the same things are on television or the movies all the time; it’s getting old.
_____ 28. When I was young, I was often in monotonous and tiresome situations.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )Creative power and childhood victimization
The dictionary defines a victim as “one who suffers from any destructive or adverse situation or agency.” When the destructive or adverse situation or agency exists in the real world, the victimization occurs in the real world. However, when the destructive or adverse situation exists primarily or entirely within the sufferer’s psyche, the victimization can be said to be more psychic than real. It is real to the sufferers and their suffering is legitimate and valid, but they are suffering more than they need to suffer. We need to identify the source of this excess suffering so that we can relieve it in the right way. When we do not know what the right way is, we are liable to relieve it in the wrong way, which will only make the suffering worse. It is not our fault that we do not know what the right way is, they do not teach it in our schools.
Millions of children are actively victimized by their parents, not because the parents are “bad” people but because they feel inadequately prepared to cope with the demanding tasks of parenthood. These children acquire the victim role early in their lives. This childhood role will not end on the individual’s eighteenth birthday. These children carry their perception of themselves as victims into adulthood where it interferes with their relationships at home and at work. It creates problems for them that they do not know how to solve.
It is important to realize that not all children who are victimized come to perceive themselves as victims. An older sister may emerge from childhood perceiving herself as the nurturer of victims, an older son may adapt the role of the Super-Responsible Rescuer of Victims, while the baby of the family may learn to use charm to ward off the victimizations that he has learned to expect from life. It may be that the middle child is singled out to receive the brunt of the abuse and becomes the designated victim of the family. This is the child who will carry the victim role into the future.
All of these children were victimized, but the dynamics of the family constellation has prevented them from playing identical roles. Each child has found a unique “solution” to the victim problem. These roles are something less than a fully-formed, well-rounded personality. These children will become impaired adults also. The Big Sister will not be compatible with healthy men, only with victims who “need” her nurturing. Her children will learn that it doesn’t pay to be healthy. Mother will pay little attention to healthy children, only those who need her nurturing. The Super Responsible son will be compatible with irresponsible, inadequate people who need his problem solving capabilities. IF they have no problems, he will be out of business. They will see to it that he is kept busy. The baby will be compatible with people who will take care of him forever.
Some children are victimized by a tragedy that takes away a mother or father suddenly, permanently and without warning. The child may not have been physically injured in the accident, but they will carry the emotional scars of this deprivation into the future.
A few “lucky” children do not seem to be victimized at all. Their childhood is ideal. For them, life is pleasant when things go their way. Their friends envy their good fortune and happiness. However, these people are poorly prepared for the ups and downs of life. For them, the other side of the coin is that life is very unpleasant when it doesn’t go their way. They perceive negative events in their lives as unacceptable deviations from the norm, which is not a norm at all, they only believe it is. They take each reversal and disappointment of everyday life as if it were a victimization by Life, Fate or God. In time, these “advantaged souls”, too, join the ranks of victims waiting for the next victimization to happen. We tell them to “count their blessings,” as if their assets in the present could undo a negative lifestyle perpetuated from childhood.
It seems as if there is no escape from the role as Victim Child, but there is. The antidote to their role is to replace it with an identity of one’s own as a self respecting human being. We need to find out how that is done. No one ever teaches us how.
A pertinent variable here is the creative power of the individual; some children can use their creative power to solve the painful problems that victimization by loved ones can present. Other children become discouraged and stop using their creative power to solve these problems.
Creative power, is a function of the child’s self-respect. Children who find ways to hang on to their self-respect will have more creative power available to them for problem solving. Children who take their victimization as an invalidation of their personal worth, and most of them cannot take it any other way, come to hold themselves in contempt. By extension, they come to have contempt for their problem- solving abilities. They resign themselves to a lifetime of playing the role of the “useless,” “worthless” victim.
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