Archive for August 16th, 2012

strengthen your marriage

Posted on August 16, 2012. Filed under: dating, family, happy, love, marriage, relationships, sex | Tags: Dating, Family, Friendship, Life, love, parenting, relationships |

Many people say that having a friendship with their spouse is an important goal of their marriage. Life usually becomes more complicated as marriage progresses. If a marital relationship is not built upon a solid foundation of friendship, it may become more difficult for partners to stay connected over time. It is also easy for spouses to become less polite and respectful to each other as time passes because they feel more comfortable with each other. However, spouses who remain good friends throughout life usually find much more enjoyment and satisfaction in their relationship.

There are many things spouses can do to keep their friendship alive.

• Set aside a specific time each day to talk and reconnect. In some marriages, spouses stop confiding in each other and stop having stimulating discussions, only to later discover that they do not know each other very well anymore. All people change over time, and partners need to continue to learn about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
• Another way to maintain friendship in marriage is to have weekly “dates.” Dates allow spouses to spend time along together, which can be especially important if they have children. Partners can also build friendship by trying to avoid conflict during “couple times,” making the time spent together more enjoyable and memorable.

How to be best friends

• Talk.
• Hold hands.
• Go for walks.
• Dance.
• Play games.
• Work on a mutual project together.
• Plan little surprises for each other.
• Laugh together.
• Compliment each other often.
• Create memories together.
• Leave unexpected notes of praise.
• Develop signals that say “I love you.”
• Go on a date.
• Say “thank you” for little kindnesses.
• Talk about your dreams.
• Listen to music.
• Say “I love you.”
• Remember birthdays and anniversaries.
• Have a candlelight dinner.
• Go for an evening or afternoon drive.

Another way for couples to strengthen their marriage is to express fondness and concern for each other on a daily basis. Showing kindness in little ways is important for several reasons. First, it enables spouses to increase their love for each other and become better friends. It also keeps little annoyances from being blown out of proportion, which helps the relationship stay strong. Daily acts of kindness can also promote the growth of romance in the marriage. When many people think about romance, they envision going away for a weekend to celebrate their anniversary or receiving a dozen roses. Instances such as these are certainly romantic. However, researchers have found that true romance is best preserved when partners frequently respect and care for each other in ordinary ways.

There is an endless variety of little things spouses can do to show thoughtfulness to each other on a daily basis. A few examples include writing love notes or sending special e-mail messages, helping each other with a project and preparing a favorite breakfast. It is important that spouses do not take for granted the power of such actions. Performing small, simple acts of kindness regularly can have a dramatic impact upon the quality of one’s marriage.

Most relationships start out with a lot of emphasis on dating and having fun together. After they get married, many spouses become busier and stop making special times a priority.  It is very important for partners to take the time to enjoy their relationship Research has shown that the amount of fun time spouses spend together is a major factor in the happiness of their marriage. Sharing enjoyable times prevents people from getting bored with their relationships and helps rejuvenate them when they are very busy and preoccupied with other cares and concerns.

In order for spouses to increase the amount of enjoyment in their relationship, it is likely that they will have to deliberately plan leisure time into their schedules. Planning and scheduling goes a long way in ensuring that the activity will actually happen and not be shoved aside by a more pressing matter. Spouses can have fun together in simple ways, such as going on picnics, taking walks, laughing together and having long talks. They can also plan more extensive times for pleasure, such as all-day outings or vacations. It does not matter what the activity is, as long as it allows both partners to relax and enjoy each other’s company.